World Maternal Mental Health Day: Why It Matters (and What I’ve Learned as a New Mum)

As a new mum I know all too well how pregnancy, birth, postpartum and the transition to motherhood can put a strain on your mental and emotional wellbeing. Although, before having my baby I had heard all about how challenging the postpartum period and early motherhood is, nothing could have really prepared me for the perfect storm of sleep deprivation, rapidly changing hormones and perhaps the most significant life change, all rolled into one.

The first Wednesday of May is World Maternal Mental Health Day, a day aimed at raising awareness of the mental health challenges that many new mothers face, and advocating for the women and families who are impacted by mental health problems. In honour of this, I thought I would take a bit of time while my little one naps to share with you why this day is so important, and perhaps give you the permission you might be waiting for to take care of yourself.

Why Maternal Mental Health Matters

Maternal mental health is crucial, because it directly impacts the physical and emotional wellbeing of both mother and baby. Around the world, current figures suggest that around 10% of pregnant women, and 13% of post-partum women experience a mental health disorder, though this figure is likely an underestimation due to the shame and stigma associated with this form of illness.  Sadly, suicide is the leading cause of death in the perinatal period, which goes to highlight just how significant an issue maternal mental health is, and that struggling in those early weeks and months is not abnormal.

I found the transition to motherhood a real learning curve, and despite spending a significant amount of time preparing for the birth of my baby, the reality of new motherhood was really quite different to my expectations. I absolutely love my baby, and she has brought more joy to my life than I could have ever imagined, but the first few months were really challenging. I bought baby bouncers, chairs and little baskets to put her in only to find that my baby simply would not be put down, and if she was, she would scream until I picked her back up. It felt pretty suffocating at times, and without the support network that I had to give me a break every now and again, I think I would have really struggled. I felt ashamed to not be loving every single moment with my baby, when it seemed that the other mums around me had it all together. It wasn’t until I decided to open up to one of the mums from my ante-natal group that I found out I wasn’t the only one feeling this way, and having other people to talk to when I was ‘in the trenches’ felt like a real life saver.

Small Ways to Support Your Mental Health 

It is so easy to neglect your mental and emotional wellbeing when you’re a new mum – this tiny new baby is completely dependent on you, and suddenly you’re trying to navigate feeds, nappy changes, burping and witching hour all on next to no sleep, which leaves you with seemingly no time for yourself! However, taking care of yourself is an act of love for both you and your baby – what do they say on aeroplanes? Put your own oxygen mask on before helping others, and this means finding (small) ways to make yourself feel good!

Create a routine

Now I’m not talking about a routine for your baby necessarily – but having a bit of a routine for, perhaps, how you start or end your day can help anchor and ground you when everything else is feeling a bit chaotic and overwhelming! I like to start my day with a glass of water, a cup of coffee and washing my face; that way if the rest of the day goes a bit haywire, I know I’ve anchored myself in that little bit of normalcy.

Daily rituals/non-negotiables

Especially in the very early postpartum period when I was not only getting to know my new baby but also recovering from birth, I found it really helpful to have a few things that were non-negotiable for me each day. These can be really basic things: have a shower, sit in the garden, have 5 minutes quiet time while someone else holds the baby – whatever it is that is going to help you feel like YOU!

Get outside!

Mothering feels 10x easier in the fresh air. I spent many, many hours in those first few months walking round the block or across the local field with my baby in the sling. A lot of the time it seemed to be the only thing that would calm her, but it had the same effect on me too! We all know how healing nature can be, and I have found that the overwhelming feelings that can mount up, especially when baby has been crying for hours, seem to fade away once I’m out of the house. So, as hard as it can feel sometimes, get you and baby out that door and breathe in some fresh air.

Ask for help

You don’t have to do this on your own. Motherhood is hard enough, so lean on your support network where you can. See if there is someone you can ask to come and hold the baby for a bit while you have a nap, or a shower, or eat with two hands, and open up to those who love you if you’re struggling. I made one of my closest ‘new-mum’ friends when I reached out and admitted I was finding things quite tough, and it turned out that she was feeling exactly the same way, she just hadn’t felt able to share it with anyone. Sharing makes everything feel more manageable, and also helps fight the stigma around maternal mental health.

When and Where to Get Help  

It can be really hard to ask for help, especially when we’re surrounded by messages about mums being able to ‘do it all’ – but you deserve to be taken care of just as much as your baby does. So, if you’re worried at all about your mental or emotional wellbeing, or the mental health of someone you know, then it is really important to reach out for help.

·       Talk to a health professional, such as your health visitor, midwife, GP, or therapy service

·       Go to A&E at your local hospital

·       Call the Samaritans on 116 123

If you’re finding motherhood harder than you expected, you’re not alone—and you deserve support just as much as your baby does.

Visit https://maternalmentalhealthalliance.org/ for more information about Maternal Mental Health Day.